Repost: new info - Win 3.11, 98 & XP networking

3.11/XP/98 advice, please. I can't find an existing relevant topic.

I've connected my ageing Toshiba laptop (Win 3.11), using a 3-com Etherlink
III LAN PC card, to my Sony PCG-FX203 (either on-board Ethernet adaptor or
same 3-com card as the Toshiba) - it's on XP.

I've managed to get 3-com software compatible with the Toshiba and load it.
I'm now trying to set up a network connection, using a cross-wired Ethernet
cable.

Once it's up and running, I want to incorporate the 3.11 Toshiba into my
XP/98 existing network.

Question, please. Where do I go now with the 3.11 setup? I've got the
IPX/SPX NetBios protocol loaded in the XP network connection - is this the
correct one to use? I can't yet get the Sony to "see" the Toshiba, nor vice
versa. The green led on the 3-com interface module isn't on or flashing,
either.

As you can see, I'm still somewhat in the dark - I'd appreciate any help you
may be able to give.

If I'm on the wrong ng, can you point me in the right direction?